Downstage right Lisetta and Valentino are stunned by the ludicrous performance of Riccardo, who stays on top of the table and excessively powders his wig. Silence.

Lisetta

(Baffled)

Who on earth is that?

Valentino

Your lover, Riccardo... The slave of your desire... The firewood for your passion...

Lisetta looks at him, dumbfounded.

Lisetta

Are you... kidding me?

Valentino

(Timidly)

He's all we could afford.

Lisetta

He's all you need, for he's in love with himself.

She grabs her long dress with both hands and turns around to walk away.

Valentino

(Hastily)

Don't let a first impression deter you. Look beyond his psysical appearance and what do you see?

Lisetta

A moron?

Valentino

No, beyond beyond... Signor Riccardo has inherited the biggest wine house in Napoli. He swims in luxury.

Lisetta

And in wine, apparently.

Valentino

(Completely misses the sarcasm)

And so could you. Right next to him. Just use your imagination.

Lisetta stares abstractedly in front of her.

Valentino (CONTINUES)

(Nods towards the audience)

I've made them believe this is Napoli, so why can't you pretend, only for a moment, that he is your... "sweetheart"?

Lisetta

(Lost in thought)

'Cause I will break his fingers, one by one, if he lays his hands on me

Valentino

(Hastily)

He won't touch you, I promise!

Lisetta

I would tear that ridiculous wig off his head and-

Valentino

Of course, of course! He will keep a safe distance, I guarantee. His affection will be strictly platonic.

Lisetta

I don't want him to say my name or even look at me! No sweet talking, no air kisses, nothing!

Valentino

But it's a love story!

Lisetta

Not anymore if I'll catch him.

Valentino

All right, fine, he will fully ignore you! Now will you sing?!

Lisetta

Sure.

Just in time her voice joins in the music and Valentino steps aside. With a radiant smile Lisetta turns towards the audience and takes no notice of Riccardo who is still occupied with himself and his appearance.